Dancing the Pain Away

Dancing the Pain Away:

Mourning the Death of Nelson Mandela

Introduction to the Tree of Remembrance spiritual message, December 8, 2013The Rev. Dr. Martha M. Smith

Today I want to invite you to take this time we have together to remember and celebrate the memories of all of the loved ones we have lost both in this past year, in recent years, and  those who died years and years ago.  My parents have been gone now for over twenty years but at this time of the year I think about them making the fancy pink and green candy we called "divinity"  and the nutty, brown sugar bars we called "chewies."  Most of the chewies were mailed to friends far away, so I never got to eat enough of those.  I have so many good memories of them, and the older I get the more I realize how much my life stands on the foundations they built.   

So many of our memories in our families focus on food, so I suppose it's very proper that we celebrate with lots of goodies today.  Food means love, and at feast times we are knit together with our food traditions.  So I bet we have on our table today many of your favorites, at least I hope some of my favorites are there.  So let me add my thanks to those who have provided such a spread.  Now I'm one of those people who prefer cornbread dressing, but I have come to love some of the stuffings and filling from this part of the world.  But we can talk about that later.  For now, let me share a few thoughts.    

Spiritual Reflection

We've seen a very different style of grief expression this week with the death of Nelson Mandela.  

The pictures and videos say it best:  Singing and dancing in South Africa mark the memorial expressions to Nelson Mandela.  While his political impact was great, his personal courage and his leadership toward reconciliation of his country has left an even more enduring legacy.  In the face of opposition, he was able to mix patience and forceful action. 

The larger than life icon who emerged from prison after twenty seven years went on to become President of South Africa and making real the end of the formal divisions between the races. Mandela and his followers, very much like Gandhi in India, defied those who would have made him a king and left the Presidency, like our own George Washington, after his term ended.  He was able to lead and then able to walk away from the trappings of formal power, trusting that others could carry on what he had started.  

Those of us old enough to remember the world before the campaign against apartheid may be able to grasp the significance of the change that came about in South Africa.  But the impact went far beyond.

For me this week, I was most captivated by the joyful spirit of celebration that arose out of the cries and tears.  Watching the news coverage around the home where Mandela had died just hours before, I was startled by the show of deep emotion.  Women and men and even little children were wailing and weeping and then would break into the songs of liberation.    For the last several days the sadness of grief has been mixed with the joyful sounds of triumph --for a life and for a death that places Mandela among the ancestors.  Much of the world, I've learned, find our quiet and somber funeral customs to be very strange.  Those of us who have spent time with loved ones who are dying, when they died, and after the death and through the grieving rituals know how hard it is for many people to deal with these times.  

When we exercise our grief muscles and our capacity for deep mourning, we are able to make a transition in our minds, in our bodies, and throughout the everyday reality of our lives to a reinvigorated level of living.  Now all of this is not a smooth and easy process, but the effort is worth it.  So may I wish for you a time this season to share your memories and find ways to celebrate in joy and hope.  

Finally, here is a poem that sustained Mandela during his twenty seven years and beyond.  What songs, poems, movies, and books help you remember your loved one.

Invictus

BY WILLIAM ERNEST HENLEY

Out of the night that covers me,

      Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

      For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

      I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

      My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

      Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

      Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

      How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

      I am the captain of my soul.  

Parking Lot Philanthropy: Giving Thanks by Giving Back

Parking Lot Philanthropy: 

Giving Thanks by Giving Back

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

 

 

As we get close to Thanksgiving and begin the seasons of shopping for gifts, I'd like to share my own version of philathropy.  Of course, we may tell ourselves that we should be less materialistic and more centered on doing good, using our time and treasure to make the world a better place, but most of us can not resist the pull of the purse.  Maybe love does make the world go 'round but having some money to spend sure generates a lot of excitement if not love.   

For some years now, I've practiced what I call "Parking Lot Philanthropy."  It's a level of giving that fits someone who has been a single parent, a librarian, a minister, and in my early years, mostly a student working part-time.  It's very simple, I save change, keep it in baggies, and when I'm out and about I drop some of it in parking lots.  These days as a member of the hospice traveling staff, I have ample opportunities to visit parking lots--Wawa, Turkey Hill, hospital parking lots, nursing home parking lots, and the usual grocery stories, etc.  I save my pennies for the stories that share pennies.  It might be too disappointing to pick up pennies in the parking lot.  Feel free to try it out for yourself. 

Other Ways to Give at the Holidays

Wanting to set a good example for my daughter (To be continued.)

 

Getting Ready for the Holidays: Relaxing

Feel Good for the Holidays:

Tips from Alternative Medicine—

  Healing Touch, Yoga, Massage, Reike, Acupuncture, and Sound Therapies

This time of year there are all kinds of tips to help us get through the holidays with less stress and more joy.  For many of us, there is so much to do that stress seems much inevitable.  With shopping lists and meals to plan, with work and relatives and traveling, we may want to give up before we even begin.  Wait--before you surrender, consider these tips from the vast world of alternative therapies including practices related to reike and healing touch, yoga and massage, and many others, to help you uncover your joys and dodge the strains and stresses.  If you can take the time and spend a little money ($60-$80 and up), I would recommend a full-body massage for detoxing the body and total relaxation.  Even a quickie shoulder massage at the shopping center can feel great.  Other treatments like reike, acupuncture, or reflexology may involve finding someone to fit your wants and needs, so you may want to explore them in the New Year.  For many people, getting a mani and a pedi can be enough of a break.  

Alternative Medicine: Vibrations, Energy Fields, and More--   The insights of alternative medicine have had mixed reviews in healthcare circles.  Although main stream Western medicine does not accept much of the formal evidence involving energy fields, healing/therapeutic touch, Ayurvedic nutrition, and related approaches, many medical centers are beginning to include alternative practitioners among their offerings.  For most of us, evidence is not as important as our own experiences and how we feel afterward.  In our hospice team, we have tried out some relaxation techniques from the traditions of energy medicine, visualization, and yoga.

Simple and easy is the key.  Ten Deep Breaths: Sitting comfortably, upright in a chair, take ten slow breaths in and out, eyes about half-open or completely closed, to restore your energy and send you back into your day with more hop in your step.  Take ten more and then sit for five minutes to listen to your heart beat.      

When relaxing, if something hurts, don’t do it.  Remember the goal is to let go and release tension and not to tighten up.  Soften your muscles; ease your mind. 

Listen to Your Own Vibrations.  Another of my favorite exercises is best done standing up.  You can bring energy to the body by using gently closed hands to pound lightly starting with the collar bones and moving slowly down the front and sides to your knees or feet.  If bending over is difficult, then pause at your waist or knees and go back up to the top.  You can also use your finger tips to press the tender spots on your face and head, chest, around the waist, and down over the hips.  Make a humming sound to hear your own vibration, or sing a silly song like Happy Birthday or Three Blind Mice to yourself or out loud.  Your own healing touch and movement will renew you.  Remember at busy times, take time to relax so you can enjoy the best of the holidays—the hugs and kisses of family and friends.   Nothing replaces the best of love and caring. 

 

 

 

Perspectives on Bereavement: Marti Smith and the Hospice Team

Here are a few excerpts from a recent article for one of our newsletters.  Along with pictures of some of us in the hospice team, there will be an article about hospice services and our director, Gretchen White-Streuli.  Enjoy.

 

What goes on in spiritual and bereavement services?

Hospice is a team effort, and Marti’s role focuses on the emotional and spiritual needs of patients and families from admission to years after the death of the loved one. Hospice traditions from its beginnings and today Medicare regulations require attention to the whole person and family, not just the physical problems. Official requirements also include support for professional team members’ emotional and spiritual wellbeing. As a society with deep fears of illness and death, all of us are vulnerable, and experience teaches that preparation is the key to helping others and ourselves navigate the challenges of sickness, dying, death, and grieving.

Every situation brings its own challenges.

In her duties in spiritual and bereavement services, Marti listens to team members to assess each family’s situation to customize appropriate services. Every case is different, from the great, great grandmother with congestive heart failure to the young father with brain cancer. In each case, individuals are coping with unfamiliar demands and feelings, and each person’s experience is different. With hospice medical social workers, Marti helps families connect to their support systems, to friends, faith traditions, community agencies. In the Reading area, often a mom or dad has moved away from a home church, so, as needed, Marti arranges for local pastors to provide ministerial support. Fortunately, in Berks and Pottstown, there is wonderful community cooperation from a wide variety of faiths. Our families, often multi-generational, may have a mix of affiliations and religious preferences. Marti helps families to find common ground to guide them before and after the loved one’s death. She is available to assist with planning memorial services or funerals in accordance with the wishes of the family and conducts services when requested.

Care Long After Your Loved One Dies

Personalized attention to mourning families continues with a set of services that Marti coordinates. She started as a hospice volunteer and now enjoys a large team of volunteers who make calls, send regular letters and uplifting reading, and keep all of the records for an operation that most years serves around 400 bereaved. Twice a year, Marti participates in the agency-wide memorials with the Tree of Remembrance and the Butterfly Release. She says that she especially enjoys sharing the volunteer created knitted shawls, hats, booties, gowns, and other special items. On being a member of the hospice team, Marti says she is blessed to share times when the earthly and the spiritual seem to come together around a patient’s bedside or in the weekly moments when those who have passed are honored.

Personal Details

Marti has been an ordained minister since 1971, in the United Church of Christ since 1983. She was born and grew up in Jacksonville, Florida and went to Duke University, Duke Divinity School, and received graduate degrees from both Duke and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She worked in colleges and universities both teaching and in libraries. An early tech enthusiast, she taught online at several places, first starting a blog while at Drexel in the School of Information in 2005. She now has a blog Compassion Comes Home linked to the VNA website (http://compassioncomeshome.blogspot.com ). She is a member of Immanuel United Church of Christ, Shillington, PA, and enjoys guest preaching and speaking in local churches and civic organizations. While teaching world religions early in her career, Marti came to appreciate the importance of spiritual expression to people in both life and death. She is grateful to work as part of a healthcare organization devoted to respecting all perspectives as patients and families face difficult challenges.

When the Sun Sets Earlier: Do You Need a Happy Light?

When the Sun Sets Earlier:

Do You Need a Happy Light?

A full- spectrum light may help some people with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), but if something is making you feel sad, make sure you find some way to find help in understanding your feelings. Many people suffer needlessly and may even feel suicidal in the wintertime when the weather is colder and the sun shines less and less.   

 

In Winter and always, take good care of yourself. 

 

When I was growing up in Florida, it never occurred to me that I might live in a place without sunshine.  Even when it was raining, I always knew the sun was not far away.  In the summertime, the sun would be shining when the rain was pouring down.  At the lake, the rain would stream across slowly enough for us to jump into the water and swim around before the rain would hit our dock.  All the while the sun would keep shining.

When I moved to Northern Indiana, the sun seemed to have stayed in Florida.  The summers were short and the winters were very, very long.  From October to almost June, there was snow on the ground, and it never went away.  I always thought snow melted.  But I had never encountered temperatures so low.  My groceries froze in the car.  My sodas were solid.   

 

Snow, snow, snow--how could there be that much snow?  Even in North Carolina where I had lived for decades, there was sunshine most of the year.  My first winter in Northern Indiana, not far from Chicago, I began to sink into a funk early in November and was very depressed by January.  I knew what I felt was nothing normal.  I could barely get out of bed.  Food tasted strange, and my energy was gone.  A kind doctor suggested a temporary medication and a full-spectrum light.  What a difference both made.  Now I wouldn't do without my light.  While I've had different models over the years, they have all helped to fight off what I learned was Seasonal Affected Disorder or SAD.  Maybe I was more prone to SAD because I came from the South where I had lived for over forty years by the time I loved to the Midwest.  I don't know, but I am so glad that I found something that helped me so much. 

Now that I live in Pennsylvania I enjoy more sun year round than I did in Indiana.  But I still depend upon my happy light to keep my mood up in the fall and winter.  I get it out around the end of September and turn it on as I wake up.  Experts suggest ten to thirty minutes each morning.  No need to look at it directly.  I turn it on before I get out of bed and it makes the morning brighter.  Sometimes I turn it on for a little longer in the late afternoon as the sun begins to set earlier.  Might a full-spectrum light help you if you are feeling sad this time of year? Whatever you need to help you cope with the winter or with a time of loss or grief or with a hard time, seek out help.  Take good care of yourself.  You are worth it.   

 

 

 



Happy First Day of Summer: Share Your Memories

Happy First Day of Summer: 

Share Your Memories

Take time this summer to share your memories of summers gone by.  If you are taking care of an older loved one, ask about early memories of summer. 

Before air conditioning? 

Maybe in another part of the country or world?

Vacation trips?

Working on the farm?
Going to camp?

What were the family activities in the summer?

Gardening?  Canning?

Picnics?

Homemade ice cream?

Swimming?

Get out the old picture albums and write down the names of those relatives before your loved ones forget.

Summertime is a wonderful time to play some of the games that were played before TV, Internet, and smart phones.

Wonderful time to tell stories and read good books.

Share those memories now. 

Sad in the Summer? Coping with Depression

Sad in the Summer?

Coping with Depression

(Are you blue when it's hot?)

Hot weather makes some people sick. 

While we usually think of cold weather as a time when some people get SAD (seasonal affective disorder), excessive heat can weaken someone enough to result in a serious depressive incident.  Physically, heat combined with opressive humidity puts a lot of stress on the body systems.  For someone with heart or respiratory problems,  air conditioning may be a necessity.  But even for healthy people, temperatures over 90 or up close to 100 can be unbearable.  Many older people and young children may not have adequate temperature regulating capacity.  Excessive sweating may lead to heat exhaustion or heat stroke.  So take good care
of yourself.    Stay cool and relaxed. 

Summertime: Beware of Getting Too Hot

Summertime: 

Beware of Getting Too Hot


As the official days of summer begin this week, make sure to take care of yourself and your loved ones in the heat. 
Remember to stay hydrated.  Water is the best. 


Remember your sun screen.  Recently research reports have suggested that sun screen helps skin aging.  Even on shady days sun screen is necessary.  And some suggest that the spray isn't as effective since it does not stick to the skin.
 
Eat lightly. 
Cold salads are cool to make and to eat. 
Remember to refridgerate any food you are taking away from home.  Unless you want a baked apple, don't leave food in the car. 
I recently had a hard lesson when I left tuna and egg salad in a hot car for too long.

But you don't have to live on salads.  
Not that there would be anything wrong with eating lots of salads.  But afterwhile you might want something else.  Some people like grilling.  Whether inside or out, grilling can be fun for the whole family.  If there's someone in your family who wants to do the grilling, then hooray.  It's not hard, and you can learn without much stress.   
Do you swim?  Run? Soccer? Play tennis? 

Whatever sports you enjoy, summer is a good time to get out into the open spaces and enjoy nature. 
But remember, stay cool. 

 

Father's Day without Your Dad: Overcoming the Grief and Sense of Loss

 

 

Father's Day without Your Dad:

Overcoming the Grief and Sense of Loss

 

 

Father's Day like Mother's Day and other special days presents challenges to those who are dealing with the death of a loved one.  This time I'd like to focus particularly on those who are sharing the last days and hours with their fathers.  There must be thousands of fathers who will die in the next three or four days.  

For those who are keeping vigil at the bedside or are traveling to say their goodbyes, please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.  Although the words of a stranger may be of little comfort, I hope that you will find people around you who are supporting you right now.   

My own dad died many years ago, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I remember thinking that he waited until the Christmas holidays to let go so that I could be with my mother.  I was coming from another state and in those days lived on an academic schedule.  Even when I saw him at Thanksgiving, he was terribly sick and unable to breathe unaided.  He held on for three more weeks.  How do dying people do that?

Since his death, almost thirty years ago, I have missed him terribly.  He did get to see my baby and know her until she was almost ten.  But he would love the lovely and loving young woman she has become.  She would enjoy him too.

He taught me so much and protected me from so many of life's dangerous places.  An old fashioned man who would have been shocked to know that I ended up working outside the home for my whole adult life.  How much I wanted to fit into that Southern belle home, children, and church world.  Didn't work at all.  So maybe we saved him from some hard experiences.  But I like to feel he would have been proud in his own way. 

So to those of you who have your fathers with you, I hope you will find a way to celebrate and honor your dads.  Those of us without our dads here, take time to find those good memories to cherish.  Happy Fathers' Day.   

 

 

 



Suicide Rates Rising among Seniors: Awareness and Prevention

Suicide Rates Rising among Seniors:

Raising Awareness and Preventing Suffering

Older men most vulnerable.

No matter where we are on life's journey, death is an enormous fear and for many a tempting solution to physical and/or emotional pain.  Being in the hospice and palliative care business, I have come to see how important it is to help people make good decisions around dying and death.  Both for the individual and for family and friends, suicide is not a good answer. 

In our society where talk about death is such a taboo, bringing awareness to those who suffer with thoughts of suicide is important.  For many reasons, seniors can be a higher risk.  Often seniors are alone and isolated.  Whether at home or in a facility, most seniors suffer with various degrees of  physical pain and are no longer engaged in work or hobbies. 

Some Facts:

• Seniors make up 13% of the population but 18% of all suicide deaths
• Caucasian men over 85 have the highest rate
• Over 85 (59 per 100,000 persons)
• Seniors give few warnings before the attempt.

What Can Nurses and the Rest of Us Do to Help?

Ask questions:

1. Have you been feeling so sad lately that you were thinking about death or dying?
2. Have you had thoughts that life is not worth living?
3. Have you been thinking about harming yourself?
4. Is there a family history of mental illness or challenges?
5. Does the patient have a plan and lethal means available?
6. Ask family about the history of harm or suicide attempts or completions. 
7. Consider a "no-suicide" or "no harm" verber and/or written contract if there is a trusting relationship with the clinician.

Act to Protect the Patient and the Family

• Consider hospitalization for safety.
• Discuss safety plans in advance.
• Evaluate for depression or other mental health issues.
• Share awareness with other care providers. 
• Continue to educate yourself and ask for the support you need to deal with vulnerable people. 

Summer Reading: Some Fun Choices

Just for Fun:

Some Summer Reading Suggestions

(This is from an article I wrote for our agency newsletter.)

 

 

 

Summer Reading Picks:  A Few Suggestions

 

Consider these picks for your vacation enjoyment.

 

Start with a Beach Read: 

Just in time for the 4th of July is The Summer Girls  by Mary Alice Monroe.  As the promo material puts it:  Three granddaughters. Three months. One summer house. I have to admit a bias here because Monroe is a Southern writer who lives in the low country of South Carolina.  Although I'm most surely a North Carolina girl by background, I did have the pleasure of falling in love one April among the freshly blooming roses of Charleston, South Carolina.  He was a sailor who would later be assigned to the waters off Cuba when the missile scare happened, and I never saw him again. Alas, I do love the romantic novels of the South. 

The Summer Girls is a story set among the live oaks and palmettos that mark the islands and frame the landscape of the grandmother's historic summer home where the girls come to stay as they learn the secrets of their past and move toward their futures.  Part of a triology, The Summer Girls might whet your appetitle for more of Monroe, who has written over ten books about strong Southern women.  In paper and electronic format.

 

More Serious Read:  Medicine Used as a View into Humanity and Identity

On a more serious note, I've started reading Abraham Verghese's Cutting for Stone (2010).  Written by a master storyteller who is also a doctor, Verghese's weaves together a tale of medical adventures and the search for identity for the two sons of a nun and a surgeon brought together by shared passion and devotion to healing in the political upheavals of Ethiopia.  Almost 700 pages long, this book could entertain you all summer and can be read electronically or on paper. 

 

Or How about Mystery?

Or perhaps you prefer more excitement.  What would summer be without a good mystery?  Stephen King has a new one:  Joyland and is also working on a new book in the tradition of The Shining that is due out in late September.  Called  Doctor Sleep, the previews promise it to be extra scary. 

 

Florence Nightingale:  Starting with the Sources

And finally, did you know that you can read Florence Nightingale's works in new editions?  I had no idea but was intrigued.  The reviews are excellent.  Happy Summer; Happy Reading. 
 

 

Children and Grief: What to Read to Children Who Are Grieving?

Children and Grief:

What to Read to Children Who Are Grieving?

Let's start with one for little children and the people who love them. 

I Miss You:

A First Look at Death

by Pat Thomas

(Barron's; $5.95)

Part of a series about "a first look at," this little book is the kind that can be carried around by a toddler and used for a lap-sitting read. 

Older children and parents will get a lot out of this book too.

Its simple message that death is a natural part of life but hard to understand is comforting yet direct.  After someone dies, they don't come back, so we miss them.  We remember them, but life goes on.  Without going into the details, the pictures the traditions of various cultures to show that we honor our loved ones in many different ways.  The book includes some guidelines for use as well.  

For me, it's a good place to start.      

Children: Helping Children Grieve a Loss in the Family

Children: 

Helping Children Grieve a Loss in the Family

What should you tell a child when grandma or grandpa is sick or close to death?

What if it's mom or dad?

What if it's a brother or sister?

What about a sudden death?

In my experience, rule number one is Honesty!

Tell the child the truth of what happened or is about to happen as directly yet simply as possible.

Children, particularly young children, have a way of thinking that they can cause things to happen.  Of course, they can't, but they don't understand that.  So if something bad happens, a child may think it is her fault.  Peter may believe that when he got mad at his brother, it made him break his leg. 

Sally may think that her wetting the bed made grandma die. 

Most children have no concept of death or finality.

Young children do not have a clear sense of cause and effect. 

They feel much more powerful than they are. 

They don't know how to judge time or realize that a dead puppy won't wake up in the morning. 

And they trust adults to keep them safe, so they are easily scared when they see us upset.  That's ok. 

They can stand to be with us when we are upset more than they can stand being isolated from the family. 

Crying with a child in your arms is much better than crying with a child in the other room who can hear you crying. 

Isolation from the family triggers the child's imagination of all kinds of horrible things--much worse than are likely to happen.

So Rule 1 is Honesty.  Hugs and kisses and closeness with the truth.  Remember too that they probably won't remember so repeating my be important.  Hugs and kisses will be the most important. 

Stay tuned for Rule 2. 

Butterfly Release June 2, 2013

Join us in the Butterfly Release

June 2, 2013

in Memory or in Honor of a Loved One

or Yourself

Purchase a butterfly to share with the springtime

 in either Reading at the Berks Heritage Center

1102 Red Bridge Road

 or in Pottstown at the VNA Office

at 1963 High Street

Hope Takes Flight

Caring for the Caregivers: Nature for Self-Care

Caring for the Caregivers:

Nature for Self-Care

A Program for the Support Group

Anne Nuss, Facilitator

Reading Hospital, Healing Garden

May 13, 2013





Hospice Nurses: A Personal Note

Hospice Nurses:

A Personal Note from an Admirer

(Spiritual Counselor/Chaplain)

How do you walk into a home and bring comfort and peace to a family in the midst of losing a cherished loved one?  I wouldn't be able to believe it unless I had seen it for myself. 

Since beginning my work with hospice two years ago, I have marveled at how our nurses find a way to reach into the lives of patients and families to guide them through the steps along the difficult path toward death. 

 I have learned a lot from our nurses.  My favorite practical tip is to mix root beer with morphine or other nasty-tasting liquid medicines.  Other good tips include using the simple, easy ways to keep someone comfortable.   Ice-packs made with baggies or frozen washcloths work well.  And most of all is the support they give to the patients and family members.  When someone comes in who has been there before, they can assure you that you will get through this journey too. 

And the many reminders they give us that we continue living until our very last breath. Nurses show caregivers how to do personal care and how to communicate through touch and gentle words.  How many of our caregivers are new to taking care of someone else in an intimate manner?  Or even spending hours, days, or months of time with a relative in need? How many of us fear illness and death?  And when it comes to a dear family member, how can we ever imagine that they will really die?

No matter when we need their help, nurses will be there.  So be kind to a hospice nurse.  Maybe ever treat him or her to lunch. 



More Blessings for Nurses-- For Nurses' Week

Here are some more blessings:

 

More blessings.  Think of some more for your situation.  Share the blessings. 

Blessed be the hands that touch young lives – babies, toddlers, and preschoolers.

Blessed be the hands that embrace others with compassion.

Blessed be the hands that administer medicine, give aspirins, bandage wounds.

Blessed be the hands that prepare meals.

Blessed be the hands that wash dishes, clean floors, arrange flowers.

Blessed be the hands that anoint the sick and offer blessings.

Blessed be the hands that grow stiff with age.

Blessed be the hands that comfort the dying and have held the dead.

Blessed be the hands that capture a memory in art and poetry and song.

Blessed be the hands that guide the young.

Blessed be the hands that greet strangers.

Blessed be the hands that learn the way of justice.

Blessed be the hands that fill out applications, write papers, carry books, send e-mails.

Blessed be the hands that receive and sort information, and hands that determine budgets.

Blessed be the hands; we hold the future in these hands.

Blessed be our hands, for they are the work of your hands, O Holy One.

Go in peace. Serve the Lord.

Thanks be to God.

 

National Nurses Week: Blessing of the Hands

National Nurses Week

May 6-11

 

Celebrating the dedication of all our wonderful nurses. 

Thank you for all you do.

 

There are some wonderful resources on the web for the celebration of National Nurses Week.  Here is the one for the blessing of the hands.  

 



May you be blessed with a spirit of gentleness and a heart that is tender.
May you be blessed with a spirit of strength shining within  you.
May you be blessed with a spirit of compassion and a fervent caring.
May you be blessed with a spirit of courage, daring to be who you are.
May you be blessed with a spirit of openness, understanding, and respect.
May the earth hold you.
May the wind lift you ever up.
May the fire draw and warm you.
May the water soothe your soul.
May you walk in oneness of purpose, extending grace and dignity with your whole being.

Let's Celebrate Volunteers: National Volunteer Week April 21-27, 2013

Celebrating Volunteers:

National Volunteer Week
BVNA & VNAP

April 21-27, 2013

At our place, we are celebrating our volunteers in the next week.  Particularly in hospice where I focus, we adore our volunteers and do all that we can to make them feel appreciated.  Our agency is a non-profit and volunteers are an official requirement of our continued accreditation and funding.  Employees hours must be matched by a certain proportion of volunteers hours for us to remain in compliance with Medicare and other regulators. 

For our official celebration,  there will be a luncheon one day with a special speaker and another day tasty Philadelphia pretzels will be served. Many of the volunteers come into the office to help with clerical and computer work.  Others make phone calls or make visits to the patients and families in their homes or in patients in care settings.

The BVNA hospice team signed a huge Thank You card with special messages. 

Why do people volunteer to work in hospice or in our agency in general?
Some of our volunteers have had their relatives under our hospice care.   Others have worked in healthcare and now are retired and continue to enjoy working with the patients and the families.  Others come to us through friends or neighbors.  We do recruit and screen and offer a training program so that the volunteers are comfortable in their work and our clients can trust that volunteers abide by all laws and regulations. 

  We have several groups in town who make beautiful handmade blankets and shawls which we share with our families.  We have one volunteer who makes hospital-like gowns (opening in the back) in colorful and lively looking fabric.  Some volunteers do pet therapy with dogs and cats.  Some do hair or offer reiki or massage.  Some hospices do music therapy.  We can use all kinds of talents.  Many of the volunteers come into the office to help with clerical and computer work.  Others make phone calls or make visits to the patients and families in their homes or to patients in care settings.

So we are delighted to express our thanks to our faithful and talented volunteers this week and all the others too. 

Compassion Comes Home: A New Blog

Compasssion Comes Home:

A blog by Marti Smith, Bereavement Services, 

Berks Visiting Nurses and

Visiting Nurses of Pottstown and Vicinity

Divisions of Home Health Care Management

Wyomissing, PA, 19610

February, 2013

Contact:  martha.smith@hhcminc.org 

610-527-5700 ext. 3962 or Cell 484-663-0393

Welcome to my new blog.  While this blog is written for the patients, families, and staff members served by the Visiting Nurses and other companies related to Home Health Care Management in my work as a spiritual counselor and bereavement coordinator for the Visiting Nurses, the views expressed here are my own and do not represent any official views of our agency.  I look forward to your comments and suggestions.  I plan to include my own thoughts about care giving, aging, illness, dying, and death and probably some completely serious and unserious ideas about cats, dogs, children, food, yoga, and more.  My hope is that many of us will find here a kind of community feeling to enrich our days. 

    

 

Healing the Grief of Aging: Alan Wolfelt and Others Share Insights

 

 

 

Would it be a surprise to you if you knew you were going to age and die someday?  Alan Wolfelt and others say that you may be in mourning. 

 

 

 

For most people, aging and death are as taboo as sex used to be.  Don't talk about it, particularly not in polite company.

 

 

For me at age 68, working in hospice care, three years from a stroke, aging and dying are still awkward topics.  How could this be?  Answer:

 

Probably because thoughts of aging and dying make me sad and scared.  I certaningly don't want other people to think of me as aging or about to die.  Who would ask me to lunch?

 

 



Compassion Comes Home for Spring

Compassion Comes Home

for Spring

Spring is a time of renewal and after Winter, we all need to renew ourselves.  Flowers start poping out.  New clothes are in the stores, and the increase in daylight hours add time and energy to our routines.  

So how do we break out of the winter blues and get into the joys that springtime can bring?

 

 

Our Agency: Home Health Care Management (HHCM)

Home Health Care Management:  The Basics

Home Health Care Management (HHCM) is the parent and management company for our family of home health care providers – Berks Visiting Nurse Association, Visiting Nurse Association of Pottstown & Vicinity, Greater Lehigh Valley Visiting Nurse Association and Advantage Home Care. Based in Wyomissing, PA.  

HHCM provides the human resources, finance, billing, Information Systems, payroll, performance improvement, staff development, fund development and community relations on behalf of its subsidiaries that serve 12 Counties in southeastern Pennsylvania. HHCM is an independent, voluntary, nonprofit home health organization registered in Pennsylvania.

Established:  1987

Headquarters:

1170 Berkshire Blvd.
Wyomissing, PA 19610
1.866.777.4862 (Toll-free)
1.855.THE.VNAs/843.8627 (Phone)
610.378.9762 (Fax)

About the Agency

Welcome to Compassion Comes Home:  

A Blog for Members of the Home Care and Hospice Community

Home Health Care Management (HHCM) is the parent and management company for our family of home health care providers – Berks Visiting Nurse Association, Visiting Nurse Association of Pottstown & Vicinity, Greater Lehigh Valley Visiting Nurse Association and Advantage Home Care. Based in Wyomissing, PA, HHCM provides the human resources, finance, billing, Information Systems, payroll, performance improvement, staff development, fund development and community relations on behalf of its subsidiaries that serve 12 Counties in southeastern Pennsylvania. HHCM is an independent, voluntary, nonprofit home health organization registered in Pennsylvania.

Established:

1987

Headquarters:

1170 Berkshire Blvd.
Wyomissing, PA 19610
1.866.777.4862
610.378.9762 (Fax)

No. of Employees:

70

Board Chairperson:

Rabbi Brian I. Michelson

Executive Officer:

Lucille D. Gough, President & CEO


Anticipatory Grief: Coping with a Loved Ones Terminal Illness

Anticipatory Grief:

Coping with a Loved One's Terminal Illness

From the moment you first hear the doctors say that they've done all they can to cure someone close, you may feel in shock.  How can that be true?

Surely there is something else that will help?

For Sarah, her dad still looked good.  A little more frail perhaps, but still tall and pink in his cheeks.  They were looking forward to lunch at their favorite place after finishing at the doctor's office.

Dan was still able to do so much for himself. He was moving to Sunnycrest in April after the house was sold, but why did they need to hire extra help? 

Sarah felt a cold chill in her back as she realized that her dad was going to die and much sooner than she had ever imagined.  Sarah was feeling anticipatory grief.  

Knowledge and understanding of how anticipatory grief works can be useful to the care team as they deal with the patient, the family, and their own interactions with patients and families.  

Like everyday grief when we lose something of value whether something big like a job or something small like a favorite pair of earrings, people get used to loss.  While a three year old may throw a fit if his ice cream falls out of the cone and onto the road, a college student would have a different reaction.  We would hope.

Loss is painful.  But its frequency in life becomes expected.  But death, and the dying process when a loved one is ill, is a major loss. 

In a society that fears death and avoids talk about illness, dying, and matters related approaching the death of a loved one is for most people a enormous challenge.  So part of what we can do is to help people talk and share as they are ready.