Happy First Day of Summer: Share Your Memories

Happy First Day of Summer: 

Share Your Memories

Take time this summer to share your memories of summers gone by.  If you are taking care of an older loved one, ask about early memories of summer. 

Before air conditioning? 

Maybe in another part of the country or world?

Vacation trips?

Working on the farm?
Going to camp?

What were the family activities in the summer?

Gardening?  Canning?

Picnics?

Homemade ice cream?

Swimming?

Get out the old picture albums and write down the names of those relatives before your loved ones forget.

Summertime is a wonderful time to play some of the games that were played before TV, Internet, and smart phones.

Wonderful time to tell stories and read good books.

Share those memories now. 

Sad in the Summer? Coping with Depression

Sad in the Summer?

Coping with Depression

(Are you blue when it's hot?)

Hot weather makes some people sick. 

While we usually think of cold weather as a time when some people get SAD (seasonal affective disorder), excessive heat can weaken someone enough to result in a serious depressive incident.  Physically, heat combined with opressive humidity puts a lot of stress on the body systems.  For someone with heart or respiratory problems,  air conditioning may be a necessity.  But even for healthy people, temperatures over 90 or up close to 100 can be unbearable.  Many older people and young children may not have adequate temperature regulating capacity.  Excessive sweating may lead to heat exhaustion or heat stroke.  So take good care
of yourself.    Stay cool and relaxed. 

Summertime: Beware of Getting Too Hot

Summertime: 

Beware of Getting Too Hot


As the official days of summer begin this week, make sure to take care of yourself and your loved ones in the heat. 
Remember to stay hydrated.  Water is the best. 


Remember your sun screen.  Recently research reports have suggested that sun screen helps skin aging.  Even on shady days sun screen is necessary.  And some suggest that the spray isn't as effective since it does not stick to the skin.
 
Eat lightly. 
Cold salads are cool to make and to eat. 
Remember to refridgerate any food you are taking away from home.  Unless you want a baked apple, don't leave food in the car. 
I recently had a hard lesson when I left tuna and egg salad in a hot car for too long.

But you don't have to live on salads.  
Not that there would be anything wrong with eating lots of salads.  But afterwhile you might want something else.  Some people like grilling.  Whether inside or out, grilling can be fun for the whole family.  If there's someone in your family who wants to do the grilling, then hooray.  It's not hard, and you can learn without much stress.   
Do you swim?  Run? Soccer? Play tennis? 

Whatever sports you enjoy, summer is a good time to get out into the open spaces and enjoy nature. 
But remember, stay cool. 

 

Father's Day without Your Dad: Overcoming the Grief and Sense of Loss

 

 

Father's Day without Your Dad:

Overcoming the Grief and Sense of Loss

 

 

Father's Day like Mother's Day and other special days presents challenges to those who are dealing with the death of a loved one.  This time I'd like to focus particularly on those who are sharing the last days and hours with their fathers.  There must be thousands of fathers who will die in the next three or four days.  

For those who are keeping vigil at the bedside or are traveling to say their goodbyes, please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.  Although the words of a stranger may be of little comfort, I hope that you will find people around you who are supporting you right now.   

My own dad died many years ago, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I remember thinking that he waited until the Christmas holidays to let go so that I could be with my mother.  I was coming from another state and in those days lived on an academic schedule.  Even when I saw him at Thanksgiving, he was terribly sick and unable to breathe unaided.  He held on for three more weeks.  How do dying people do that?

Since his death, almost thirty years ago, I have missed him terribly.  He did get to see my baby and know her until she was almost ten.  But he would love the lovely and loving young woman she has become.  She would enjoy him too.

He taught me so much and protected me from so many of life's dangerous places.  An old fashioned man who would have been shocked to know that I ended up working outside the home for my whole adult life.  How much I wanted to fit into that Southern belle home, children, and church world.  Didn't work at all.  So maybe we saved him from some hard experiences.  But I like to feel he would have been proud in his own way. 

So to those of you who have your fathers with you, I hope you will find a way to celebrate and honor your dads.  Those of us without our dads here, take time to find those good memories to cherish.  Happy Fathers' Day.   

 

 

 



Suicide Rates Rising among Seniors: Awareness and Prevention

Suicide Rates Rising among Seniors:

Raising Awareness and Preventing Suffering

Older men most vulnerable.

No matter where we are on life's journey, death is an enormous fear and for many a tempting solution to physical and/or emotional pain.  Being in the hospice and palliative care business, I have come to see how important it is to help people make good decisions around dying and death.  Both for the individual and for family and friends, suicide is not a good answer. 

In our society where talk about death is such a taboo, bringing awareness to those who suffer with thoughts of suicide is important.  For many reasons, seniors can be a higher risk.  Often seniors are alone and isolated.  Whether at home or in a facility, most seniors suffer with various degrees of  physical pain and are no longer engaged in work or hobbies. 

Some Facts:

• Seniors make up 13% of the population but 18% of all suicide deaths
• Caucasian men over 85 have the highest rate
• Over 85 (59 per 100,000 persons)
• Seniors give few warnings before the attempt.

What Can Nurses and the Rest of Us Do to Help?

Ask questions:

1. Have you been feeling so sad lately that you were thinking about death or dying?
2. Have you had thoughts that life is not worth living?
3. Have you been thinking about harming yourself?
4. Is there a family history of mental illness or challenges?
5. Does the patient have a plan and lethal means available?
6. Ask family about the history of harm or suicide attempts or completions. 
7. Consider a "no-suicide" or "no harm" verber and/or written contract if there is a trusting relationship with the clinician.

Act to Protect the Patient and the Family

• Consider hospitalization for safety.
• Discuss safety plans in advance.
• Evaluate for depression or other mental health issues.
• Share awareness with other care providers. 
• Continue to educate yourself and ask for the support you need to deal with vulnerable people. 

Summer Reading: Some Fun Choices

Just for Fun:

Some Summer Reading Suggestions

(This is from an article I wrote for our agency newsletter.)

 

 

 

Summer Reading Picks:  A Few Suggestions

 

Consider these picks for your vacation enjoyment.

 

Start with a Beach Read: 

Just in time for the 4th of July is The Summer Girls  by Mary Alice Monroe.  As the promo material puts it:  Three granddaughters. Three months. One summer house. I have to admit a bias here because Monroe is a Southern writer who lives in the low country of South Carolina.  Although I'm most surely a North Carolina girl by background, I did have the pleasure of falling in love one April among the freshly blooming roses of Charleston, South Carolina.  He was a sailor who would later be assigned to the waters off Cuba when the missile scare happened, and I never saw him again. Alas, I do love the romantic novels of the South. 

The Summer Girls is a story set among the live oaks and palmettos that mark the islands and frame the landscape of the grandmother's historic summer home where the girls come to stay as they learn the secrets of their past and move toward their futures.  Part of a triology, The Summer Girls might whet your appetitle for more of Monroe, who has written over ten books about strong Southern women.  In paper and electronic format.

 

More Serious Read:  Medicine Used as a View into Humanity and Identity

On a more serious note, I've started reading Abraham Verghese's Cutting for Stone (2010).  Written by a master storyteller who is also a doctor, Verghese's weaves together a tale of medical adventures and the search for identity for the two sons of a nun and a surgeon brought together by shared passion and devotion to healing in the political upheavals of Ethiopia.  Almost 700 pages long, this book could entertain you all summer and can be read electronically or on paper. 

 

Or How about Mystery?

Or perhaps you prefer more excitement.  What would summer be without a good mystery?  Stephen King has a new one:  Joyland and is also working on a new book in the tradition of The Shining that is due out in late September.  Called  Doctor Sleep, the previews promise it to be extra scary. 

 

Florence Nightingale:  Starting with the Sources

And finally, did you know that you can read Florence Nightingale's works in new editions?  I had no idea but was intrigued.  The reviews are excellent.  Happy Summer; Happy Reading. 
 

 

Children and Grief: What to Read to Children Who Are Grieving?

Children and Grief:

What to Read to Children Who Are Grieving?

Let's start with one for little children and the people who love them. 

I Miss You:

A First Look at Death

by Pat Thomas

(Barron's; $5.95)

Part of a series about "a first look at," this little book is the kind that can be carried around by a toddler and used for a lap-sitting read. 

Older children and parents will get a lot out of this book too.

Its simple message that death is a natural part of life but hard to understand is comforting yet direct.  After someone dies, they don't come back, so we miss them.  We remember them, but life goes on.  Without going into the details, the pictures the traditions of various cultures to show that we honor our loved ones in many different ways.  The book includes some guidelines for use as well.  

For me, it's a good place to start.      

Children: Helping Children Grieve a Loss in the Family

Children: 

Helping Children Grieve a Loss in the Family

What should you tell a child when grandma or grandpa is sick or close to death?

What if it's mom or dad?

What if it's a brother or sister?

What about a sudden death?

In my experience, rule number one is Honesty!

Tell the child the truth of what happened or is about to happen as directly yet simply as possible.

Children, particularly young children, have a way of thinking that they can cause things to happen.  Of course, they can't, but they don't understand that.  So if something bad happens, a child may think it is her fault.  Peter may believe that when he got mad at his brother, it made him break his leg. 

Sally may think that her wetting the bed made grandma die. 

Most children have no concept of death or finality.

Young children do not have a clear sense of cause and effect. 

They feel much more powerful than they are. 

They don't know how to judge time or realize that a dead puppy won't wake up in the morning. 

And they trust adults to keep them safe, so they are easily scared when they see us upset.  That's ok. 

They can stand to be with us when we are upset more than they can stand being isolated from the family. 

Crying with a child in your arms is much better than crying with a child in the other room who can hear you crying. 

Isolation from the family triggers the child's imagination of all kinds of horrible things--much worse than are likely to happen.

So Rule 1 is Honesty.  Hugs and kisses and closeness with the truth.  Remember too that they probably won't remember so repeating my be important.  Hugs and kisses will be the most important. 

Stay tuned for Rule 2.